Crossroads … creating permanent life changes 

Photographs can envoke feelings of a particular time and place along with emotions and feelings. Can almost bring you back to the day if was taken. 

 If I look at photographs of me “pre-awareness” of the humanitarian crisis in Europe, quite simply I am a different person.  It’s the same as if I look at a photo taken pre-arrival of kids.  The change is really this stark and real. 

The arrival of my first child changed me so fundamentally, (as of course it should). My thoughts and attention were focused almost entirely on my new baby, to the point of almost losing myself as an individual.  Of course, many parents feel consumed and overwhelmed after the arrival of a new addition to the family, this is not unusual.

Becoming a parent changed my priorities in life, changed my outlook on the world.  No longer was my career, my social life, or the latest fashion a focus in my life – my priorities seismically shifted overnight,  I was ready for and pleased for the change.

I remember the day I saw the photograph of Aylan Kurdi washed up on a Lesvos beach.  I turned to my husband and asked him how bad things would have to get before we actually made a stand… before I ‘got off my arse and did something’.  I had often wondered about how ‘the masses’ behaved during the holocaust and I wondered what I would do.  I never thought it would be relevant to me. I was naive.  I could never have imagined that Europe (I still include the UK) would so readily dismiss human rights laws and purposefully inflict suffering on innocent people fleeing war.  Since Aylans tragic death many thousands more have drowned in the seas around Europe.. 

I quickly joined many solidarity groups on Facebook, reading posts from volunteers on Lesvos.  I read about drownings on a daily basis, fake life jackets, hypothermia, horrific camps .. my eyes were opened.  I can remember those intense feelings as if they were yesterday.  

Friends and family know I have been ‘damaged psychologically’ over the last couple of years and they naturally worry about this .. some simply can’t understand why I don’t ‘stop’  .. the mind is a complicated business.  

I have made many mistakes and errors in judgement… However, I would not go back to that crossroads in 2015 and take a different, easier on my mind, less rocky path.  So much of me has been fundamentally changed over the last couple of years, and I welcome the change.  Just like motherhood is incredibly challenging and sometimes hurts you to your core ..  it is also rewarding and worthwhile… and a part of who you are .. solidarity, love and striving for equality is as much a part of me as motherhood .. I can’t ‘stop’ , I can’t go back and fundamentally I don’t want to.. 

People to people solidarity ❤